Notes to My Loves

      A 'silver lining'.  The belief that even in the darkest of circumstances there is a positive outcome that will make everything better. Often when we deal with obstacles or events that just didn't go the way we planned, we cling to this proverb.     However, in this life of ours here on earth, sometimes there isn't one. There is no light shining down from the dark clouds. There is nothing silver. There is no light. There is just darkness. There is just grief. There is overwhelming sadness and confusion.  The questions bombard our brains with no answers that make sense of loss. A loss so deep that time doesn't really heal it at all. It just makes the pain throb less.      Sometimes it seems that the world is just a tad off kilter. Kind of like the lens of a camera that is just not quite in focus. A picture that is slightly out of focus and crooked no matter how many times you try to right it.      I see it in the...

      M otherhood is filled with tasks. Tasks that we were told about long before we ever held our precious babies in our arms. Talks we were given to from those who were older, wiser, and had navigated the rapids of parenting small children. Then there were tasks that we just have to learn on our own. Our "on the job training" if you will. From swaddling newborns to nursing night time fevers, from making the mad dash to the closest bathroom during potty training to getting all the necessary supplies for that first day of school. There is no handbook for these tasks. And often they are overlooked by those that are older and wiser. They are the small tasks. The ones that go unspoken. I could go on and on regarding such tasks. They are never ending and we, those of us in the trenches, know all to well the table of contents of which I am referring to. But this post isn't about those tasks. For we all have them. Instead I want to talk about the balancing of one's life wh...

      S ometimes we all need to get away. We need to leave everything behind and take a breath, or two, or three. We need to readjust our perspective on those things  which are really important. This is not easy in the lives we lead. The lives filled with demands, responsibilities, and expectations. However, right now I am away. I was blessed to be given the gift of time. Time away from all that usually makes it hard for me to think. I am refueling my tank and taking time to process. I am breathing deeply and working on finding clarity.      While here I have visited with old friends. Friends who knew me long before I was a mother. Friends who I have no reason to try to impress. Friends who remember when life was far less complicated and demanding. Friends who listen and share in the same struggles of motherhood. It is a fold that I belong to. A fabric of who I am to have these friendships that have stood the test of time and distance. Picking up righ...

W hat are you drawn to? What pulls at the inner magnet of your heart? What calms your soul? Recently I have been finding myself drawn to things that I always have been, yet asking the question WHY? What is it about these things that soothe me? What inner mechanism makes me pulled to these images like a beacon of the soul? A magic magnet that was knit long that is rooted so deeply within that it is a constant pull of peace. For example, why is it that  when I look at pictures like this I feel at home?  I did not grow up living on the water. I did not go to the sea each summer and frolic in the sand as a girl. What is it that pulls my heart to pictures like this and makes my mind stop racing and my breathing slow. What is it about this image that calls to my inner soul and tells me that there is more than the repetitive living that I am experiencing today with the dreary skies and piles of laundry that are beckoning to be put away.       And what about t...