To Love, To Need, To Use

What if everything we had in our house was something that we absolutely loved, used, or needed? What would that house look like? Imagine your living room or bed room right now......does it look differently? Thought so.

     I have pondered this phrase, "Loved, used, or needed" since hearing about it today with a friend over lunch. We discussed how we have all this 'stuff' around us. Some of it is physical stuff and some of it is emotional stuff. Some of it is needed and other stuff, like the hat box which held the cards at my wedding nearly 13 years ago, is basically a major dust collector in my basement. It sits there, silent and patient still adorned with the beads my mother lovingly hot glued to its top. Will it ever have another use? I don't know. 

     After today's lunch discussion, over a fabulous chicken sandwich and sweet potato fries, I ask myself the question "Do I love it, use it, or need this hat box?" The answer is simply no. I haven't opened it since returning from our honeymoon and we moved into this house four months later. It has sat alone, in the dark most days, in the basement. It serves no purpose to my life today. There are no Legos housed in there, or a set of building blocks, or plastic teacups. Perhaps a nice family of brown recluse spiders has taken up in it but I would rather not find that out. 

    Yet, there is part of me that cannot part with it. The guilt is there that if I get rid of it, I am somehow letting go of that sweet part of that romantic fairy tale day so many years ago. It is a silly notion that if I get rid of it, I am negating that the events of that day actually happened. The ridiculousness of if I put this box in a bag for Goodwill, that those memories would vanish. That I will only remember them by looking at this magical, dust covered box. 

     Now I know that this is silly, and looking at it and analyzing it, the hat box must simply go. But when I look at the context of that simple sentence, "Do I love it, use it, or need it?" it makes me thinks about other aspects of my life and the lives of those around me. How often do we take the time to analyze our lives and see whether we are on the right track? Could it be that simple? Could we take stock of our lives with this short, sweet, and simple question? Could life be so much easier if we had an internal question that we replayed when confronted with difficult choices or temptations. I think for a large percentage of what we deal with in everyday life, the answer is yes. Let's look at each point.

     Do I love it? This question can be asked for so many issues that we encounter from the hairstyle we are thinking about changing to, or the job we are thinking about taking or leaving. Do we REALLY LOVE it? Can we see ourselves doing this or keep this, or looking at this for a very long time?  If the answer is no, then perhaps it is wasted time, money, and energy on something that already we know will be replaced. Why simply fill that void with something we know is only temporary? Well, sometimes the temporary fill is easier that dealing with the vacant spot. Even the word vacant is so sharp and sad sounding. I think as people we need to get over this. We need to be more willing to sit in the emptiness and find what truly fits rather than just settling for something that we know is only fleeting.

     Will I use it?  How many times have we saw a bargain on something that we don't think we will get to right away, but golly it is a GOOD DEAL. If we don't scarf it up then we will definitely be a retail failure in the grand scheme of things. I mean, really I haven't gotten to the scrapbooking supplies that I purchased at Michael's with  fancy binders and paper for over a year ago, but honestly the paper is SOOOOo pretty. It will be beautiful once I ever get to it. Or will it? Will it just sit there, and when I move it to dust, or reorganize for the billionth time this year, will I only feel more like a failure because yet there is another project that I didn't finish?  Would I even remember that paper now, months later? No. Yet in the moment, for many of us we feel if we don't get that item, we will be missing out somehow on something down the line. 

     Do I need it?  Now I know this question would stop many of us in our tracks if we honestly answered it truthfully and followed through with putting down what ever it is that we 'think' we need. From something going into our mouths that has way too many calories to even burn off on a treadmill, or has the potential to give us grave bodily harm if we ingest it one more time. For some it is shopping, smoking, food, or drugs.  Do we really need it? How will this benefit our lives in the long run? That is the key point to this question because in the moment we do think we need it. For many our bodies ache for it in ways others cannot even begin to comprehend. However, as whole regardless of what "it" is, we think we need it. We feel that "it"  will fill that vacant void that has gotten larger and larger through the many seasons of our lives. But in the long run, do I need it or is it just one more thing that will pull me away from the truth that I am seeking? The contentment that my soul yearns for. 

     My loves, 962, there are many things in this life that you will be pulled toward or have flashed in your face as things that you just can't live without. Even now, as young as you are, I hear your pleas for the newest and greatest almost daily. It makes my heart hurt to think that you are already becoming so accustomed to this materialistic marble we call Earth and all that the media feeds you as necessity.  However, I want you to know that the bottom line is that when it is all said and done, nothing that truly matters or holds the memories of our hearts is something other than what we love, use and need. And even when those 'things' are long gone, the memories live on in our minds. 

    We truly love people not things. For people are those who help us to learn who we are and what we stand for. They are the ones that make us laugh so hard we loose control. Yet they are also the ones that hold our hands in the sad times of life when there are no words that will truly comfort us.  They are our roots and wings all at the same time.  We use food, shelter, and clothes to keep us warm, safe, and healthy, but honestly that can be found anywhere, in any country around the world and made from various things from the Earth.  We need love, friendship, acceptance, and the fellowship of others on this journey. For without them, our lives would be so dehydrated from the essence of being alive. We would simply be thirsty automatons going through the motions of living without seeing the beauty around us. Drink in the life around you and the people you are blessed to have in your lives. They are the true gifts, and are a lot less dusty. 

Your Loving and Always Searching Mom