Notes to My Loves

     There is a woman I know.  She often times speaks about her children and all the funny things they say and do. They are truly the best and most wonderful gifts she was ever bestowed. This I know to be true. But then I see her loose her patience at those same children she so claims to love. Her voice becomes harsh and quick and her eyes pulse with irritation. When she does this, a piece of my heart breaks for her. I know later she will feel the guilt only a mother knows.      There is another woman I know. She reads things in books and then relives them in her dreams. She watches documentaries and they root themselves into her heart. She feels aortic tugs when she learns about children suffering and shares these stories with her own children. There are photos on her fridge of children throughout the world. She wants her kids to know that they must always look to help others. When I hear her talk to her children, I become inspired. I want to be more like her. I want to ask her how

     In my pre-parenthood days, there was a lot of advice that was given freely from many sources. Some of it was appreciated, some of it was filed away for when the time came for transitioning from nursing to solid food, and many times I just naively rolled my eyes and swore I wouldn't be 'that' parent.     Looking back, having ten parenting years under my belt, it seems that much of that advice revolved around adjusting to having a baby, the months after the baby arrives, how to lose the baby weight, and how to juggle all the newness and nerve wracking events all rolled into one. This can be a very messy time for sure.     But where I sit now, there is much more that I would have liked to know about before getting into this profession called parenting, and I mean that with all sincerity. In fact, there is not much in terms of job experience that has gone undone in the last ten years.     I have wiped, changed, and cleaned every person, pet, and surface in this house.