Notes to My Loves

     There is a woman I know.  She often times speaks about her children and all the funny things they say and do. They are truly the best and most wonderful gifts she was ever bestowed. This I know to be true. But then I see her loose her patience at those same children she so claims to love. Her voice becomes harsh and quick and her eyes pulse with irritation. When she does this, a piece of my heart breaks for her. I know later she will feel the guilt only a mother knows.      There is another woman I know. She reads things in books and then relives them in her dreams. She watches documentaries and they root themselves into her heart. She feels aortic tugs when she learns about children suffering and shares these stories with her own children. There are photos on her fridge of children throughout the world. She wants her kids to know that they must always look to help others. When I hear her talk to her children, I become inspired. I want to be more like her. I want to ask her how

     In my pre-parenthood days, there was a lot of advice that was given freely from many sources. Some of it was appreciated, some of it was filed away for when the time came for transitioning from nursing to solid food, and many times I just naively rolled my eyes and swore I wouldn't be 'that' parent.     Looking back, having ten parenting years under my belt, it seems that much of that advice revolved around adjusting to having a baby, the months after the baby arrives, how to lose the baby weight, and how to juggle all the newness and nerve wracking events all rolled into one. This can be a very messy time for sure.     But where I sit now, there is much more that I would have liked to know about before getting into this profession called parenting, and I mean that with all sincerity. In fact, there is not much in terms of job experience that has gone undone in the last ten years.     I have wiped, changed, and cleaned every person, pet, and surface in this house.

S uperheros have super powers. This is something that is accepted without question. Superman can fly.  NO problem. He can freeze things with his super breathe. Got it! We don't judge him for the bright spandex he wears.      The Flash is wicked fast. If you need a buddy to help you out, he is the one to call.  We don't judge him for reacting too fast.      The Hulk, well, his power is a little on the wild side, but we are fine with it. We don't recommend anger management or group therapy. We don't even judge the green color makeup he chooses to don when angry. Tame the beast? No, he is alright with us.      Spiderman, being bit by a radioactive spider, and being able to spin webs able to carry the weight of a two ton truck? Absolutely. We don't gossip about him spinning one too many webs. And who hasn't seen a radioactive spider?  I am sure there are a few right now lurking in my basement.     Surely we can't overlook Wonder Woman with her invisible je

 "It takes a village". We have all heard that phrase that is touted as an African proverb. I admit that when I was in the pre-parenthood phase of my life, I disagreed with it. Why would I need other people to help me raise my child? If I couldn't step up and do this on my own then I had no right to be bringing a child into the world. This young creature was my flesh and my responsibility. Period. Then I had a baby and all that "I don't need a village" crap went right out the window, along with napping, going to the bathroom in peace, being able to form a complete thought, and fitting back into my pre-preggie pants. The truth is, all across the globe, women help each other in motherhood. Villagers help each other. From the rice paddies of Thailand to the mountainous regions of Tibet. In the hills of North Dakota to the winding river Nile. Women are woven together like a maternal tapestry that spans generations and geographic locations. We rely on each oth

Before I was a parent I judged. I judged a lot. I listened to how children whined in stores and vowed that mine would have a good “ thing coming to them ” if they dared have that type of attitude. I saw boys with shorts on during cold weather and wanted to take them home with me. I wondered what type of parent they had not looking out for their child’s skin on a chilly day. I looked at houses of friends with small children and wondered why they couldn’t see the grimy dirt on bathroom walls, or manage to keep the clutter contained. What were these people thinking? Before I was a parent, I made promises I couldn’t keep. My children would have home cooked meals each night for dinner. We would routinely bake cookies for no special reason and our Christmas cookies would ROCK! In addition,  I would make sure to not be “THAT” parent who scrounges to get last minute supplies for school projects. I vowed that my kids would be in bed promptly by 8 each and every night on a

An impish smile. Sparkling green eyes that mimic a dark mossy redwood forest. An imagination that you share with me on a daily basis.  You make me laugh, wonder, and ask questions of my own. You are a wonderful creation. One so perfect, I could not have even fathomed such a lovely creature in my dreams.  Just the right amount of timidity and tenderness. Bravery mixed with bossiness, while adding both vivaciousness and velocity. You are the sparkly pink whirlwind in my life. The small hand that clutches mine when you are scared, yet pushes me away when you are ready to explore. The artist of mine who knows what she wants, and the little inquisitive explorer of mine who asks away when her mind is wondering. You, my love, are a piece of me, but only one. For you are made of so many pieces that have been fashioned together to make you YOU. A brilliant, dazzling, mosaic of times before and those who have long departed.  You are your own girl.  Your little voice telling m