A 'silver lining'. The belief that even in the darkest of circumstances there is a positive outcome that will make everything better. Often when we deal with obstacles or events that just didn't go the way we planned, we cling to this proverb.
However, in this life of ours here on earth, sometimes there isn't one. There is no light shining down from the dark clouds. There is nothing silver. There is no light. There is just darkness. There is just grief. There is overwhelming sadness and confusion. The questions bombard our brains with no answers that make sense of loss. A loss so deep that time doesn't really heal it at all. It just makes the pain throb less.
Sometimes it seems that the world is just a tad off kilter. Kind of like the lens of a camera that is just not quite in focus. A picture that is slightly out of focus and crooked no matter how many times you try to right it.
I see it in the news. I read online. But today, it hit my heart closely.
It wasn't in the form of a newscast or a nation far away with starving orphans. It came in the form of a friend having to say goodbye to her dear, sweet, precious baby girl. A baby born perfect in every way. A sweet angel who fought so hard at such a tender age. A battle that seems so unfair. A baby whose life on this blueish green marble we call Earth, was all too short for those who loved her, and for those who only heard of her story. The fallout of her leaving so soon, shattering one family, and sending shock waves to all whose hearts ache with them.
I feel angry. I feel confused. It makes no sense. There is no silver lining to cling to. There is just sadness and helplessness. The words seem too colloquial and meaningless for the magnitude of such a loss. All that remains are questions that have no answers, and as humans this is a hard thing to accept.
We want answers. We want closure. We search for this life of ours to make sense. We crave things to fit into place. We design our lives around conformity, because if we don't we are simply living in chaos. There is a part of our heart that desires more. There must be more because without more, nothing here in this earthly life makes sense.
The irony is that we really are not in control at all. Even when we have everything color coded and think we are in the driver's seat. It is a self professed illusion. We are fooling ourselves and for those of us who battle with control that is a horrifying realization.
The hard truth is, that it is days like today which bring that blurry picture into focus. And sometimes if we are able to pull ourselves away from the mental chaos, we can see that it is our perspective of that viewfinder that needs to change.
The darkness is always present, but so is the light. You truly can't have one without the other. It is impossible. One cancels out the other. Although the light can seem elusive when your heart is breaking. It is not easily found and sometimes we don't want to find it right away. It doesn't seem right. We want to be in the dark for a while.
Sometimes it just takes a different point of reference to find it. And that light doesn't always make everything better. There is no silver lining. There is just a small glint of light. And even if it is just a flicker, it makes life a little less scary.
However, in this life of ours here on earth, sometimes there isn't one. There is no light shining down from the dark clouds. There is nothing silver. There is no light. There is just darkness. There is just grief. There is overwhelming sadness and confusion. The questions bombard our brains with no answers that make sense of loss. A loss so deep that time doesn't really heal it at all. It just makes the pain throb less.
Sometimes it seems that the world is just a tad off kilter. Kind of like the lens of a camera that is just not quite in focus. A picture that is slightly out of focus and crooked no matter how many times you try to right it.
I see it in the news. I read online. But today, it hit my heart closely.
It wasn't in the form of a newscast or a nation far away with starving orphans. It came in the form of a friend having to say goodbye to her dear, sweet, precious baby girl. A baby born perfect in every way. A sweet angel who fought so hard at such a tender age. A battle that seems so unfair. A baby whose life on this blueish green marble we call Earth, was all too short for those who loved her, and for those who only heard of her story. The fallout of her leaving so soon, shattering one family, and sending shock waves to all whose hearts ache with them.
I feel angry. I feel confused. It makes no sense. There is no silver lining to cling to. There is just sadness and helplessness. The words seem too colloquial and meaningless for the magnitude of such a loss. All that remains are questions that have no answers, and as humans this is a hard thing to accept.
We want answers. We want closure. We search for this life of ours to make sense. We crave things to fit into place. We design our lives around conformity, because if we don't we are simply living in chaos. There is a part of our heart that desires more. There must be more because without more, nothing here in this earthly life makes sense.
The irony is that we really are not in control at all. Even when we have everything color coded and think we are in the driver's seat. It is a self professed illusion. We are fooling ourselves and for those of us who battle with control that is a horrifying realization.
The hard truth is, that it is days like today which bring that blurry picture into focus. And sometimes if we are able to pull ourselves away from the mental chaos, we can see that it is our perspective of that viewfinder that needs to change.
The darkness is always present, but so is the light. You truly can't have one without the other. It is impossible. One cancels out the other. Although the light can seem elusive when your heart is breaking. It is not easily found and sometimes we don't want to find it right away. It doesn't seem right. We want to be in the dark for a while.
Sometimes it just takes a different point of reference to find it. And that light doesn't always make everything better. There is no silver lining. There is just a small glint of light. And even if it is just a flicker, it makes life a little less scary.
Psalm 18:28 You, Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.
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